Christopher: So I'd like to start with this question.

with this question.

John: Tell me about

18 cats and one car.

Christopher: You've done your research, John. I'm excited for this. Yes. Thank you. 18 cats in one car. No ladies and gentlemen, that's not the starting of a joke. That is, was, that was my life in 1982, May 10th, 1982. I remember the day very well. I came came home from school and basically we were evicted out of our [00:01:00] house and my mom had 30 cats in the house.

With four dogs, by the way, you forgot the four dogs. So yeah, when we were evicted from our house, my crazy cat lady mom with various psychological disorders and chemical dependencies, we rounded up 18 cats in the family station wagon with four dogs and skedaddled our way out of the house and yeah, for the four ensuing years, I was homeless on the streets and got to experience all sorts of interesting things.

I'm

John: I'm sure you did. So you wrote this book. What was the impetus for writing this book?

Christopher: That is a great question. I knew pretty early on in my life from the people that I started surrounding myself with that all of the stuff that I'd gone through in my life, all the physical and mental abuse in my entire life, up until about 17, 18 years old, where I decided that I Couldn't do it anymore.

I literally was going to wind up dead or in jail the way I was going at 17. Because I was surrounded by the right people, they inspired me to use my story and all the things that I would never share publicly about being homeless, about digging through dumpsters, about trying to kill myself twice, all these different things that my story perhaps could inspire [00:02:00] other people.

To see the fact that if I can go from being a zero confidence, zero, anything type of kid, like I had no confidence. I was literally beaten up at school. I was beaten up on the way home from school and I was beaten up on my block and my mother physically and mentally abused me. So I had zero confidence. I wouldn't speak up anywhere.

I speak in front of thousands of people now. And somebody inspired me. I was writing some other books. I wrote Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life. I wrote it a couple other books that I hadn't published yet. And one of my really good mentor friends of mine, we check in with each other periodically and I hadn't heard from her in eight months and she calls me up one day and I see her.

I'm like, Oh, Patricia's calling me. And I say, Hey, what's up, Patty? What's going on? How are we doing? She goes, good. She goes, I just got a message that I need to talk to you. And I was like, what message? And she goes from the universe and I said, okay, what is that? And she goes, are you writing a book right now?

I said, funny. You should mention that. Yeah. I actually picked up change your attitude, change your life. And I started finishing that. She goes, what's that about? And I said that's motivation mindset. It's basically taking my coaching program and putting it into book form so people can have that dah.

No, not that, that one. She goes, are you writing another book? And I said I have the [00:03:00] 69 tips for living a kick ass life. Volume one. It's like life's little instruction book, but it's for kick ass people who swear. And I have a mind like George Carlin and Tony Robbins all at ACDC concert, she says, no, she goes, that sounds good.

She goes, I like that one. She goes, no, not that one. And I said one of these days I'm going to write my life story. And she goes, that one. And I'm like no. See, Patricia, this is the thing. I want to write a couple of books before I write my real life story and then get noticed. And then I'll write my life story.

Cause people want to know about the guy that wrote the books. She goes, no, she goes, you need to write your life story before. So somebody gets to know you and then they're going to buy your books. And I went, but Patricia, it's one thing for me to talk on interviews about my being homeless and this other stuff, but to literally write your story into written form and revisit those memories and put those.

People that are reading the book in the place where you are at in the smell and the environment, everything that's asking a lot. And I said, I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared for that right yet. And this was back right, right before COVID really. And so she goes, no, she goes, I'm being told that's the one.

And because I respect her and I trust her as a mentor, I sat down and I think it was October of 21 [00:04:00] and literally just took my life from my addresses that I lived at from the time I was born. Till the time my mother, passed away. And I talk about that entire story of how I went through all these peaks and valleys through my entire life, even up until now, and how, I was able to find the resiliency, find the strategies to be able to overcome that particular issue at that moment.

And so it's really the hero's journey showing that anybody can do it. Literally, John. Literally anybody could do it. If I can go from being who I was to who I am now, people are like, Oh my God, you're so confident in front of people. I'm like, I wouldn't even raise my hand in class anymore because I was afraid of being stupid.

So if I can do it, I want to inspire other people. So I wrote the book and it'll be out later this year.

John: So you mentioned the hills and valleys and then you used the term resilience to get through those. What does resilience means? Different things to different people. What does resilience mean to you?

Mm-Hmm. 

Christopher: It literally means not stopping. Like literally I've all I've sell these wristbands to say unstoppable.

Everything I've, I talk about is being unstoppable. In 2019 when my coach talked to me and she says, why are you still here? Really think [00:05:00] about why you're still here. And I said, I never gave myself excuses and I never stopped. So in that not having excuses, that resiliency, to be able to sit there and say for me, at 17 years old, 18 years old.

Having a mentor who I literally just tattooed a quote on my arm for my 55th birthday a couple weeks ago that says you're only limited by the parameters of your own mind by William T. White and tattooed on my arm. I dropped out in the seventh grade and I was a poor student in class, really bad, dropped out in seventh grade.

I was doing drugs. I was fighting. I became the bully. And so he said, why don't you go back and get your GED? And I said, what is that? He said, it's a general equivalency diploma, basically girls will get pregnant and stuff like that. They can take, high school efficiency, equivalency diploma and still graduate and be able to go to college.

And I said, are you kidding? I looked at him straight in the face and I said, are you kidding? Like you want me to make up seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th, grade. You are you kidding me? There is no way I don't know trigonometry. I don't know calculus. I don't know chemistry and all this other stuff that all my friends would tell me about.

He says, just go try to take it. Just try. And I was just like, I had no faith and confidence in myself and this guy's [00:06:00] crazy, but. If he wants me to do it and he believes that I can do it, I'm going to take his faith and his belief and I'm going to start calling. And this is before the internet. So I had to call high schools and say, do you have a GED program?

No, we don't. No, we don't. No, we don't. No, we don't. Do you know who does? Finally, I ran across the school. Long story short, I went in there and tested, thought they were going to laugh at me and tell me to get out. I took the placement test. I found out I only needed about, I think it was somewhere around three or four months of schooling.

I did continuation school. They gave me homework and I took it home and I did it. And I came back and they said, we think we're ready to test. And I said, are you kidding me? I took the test and I passed at 18. So it was like three or four months. I made up all of that stuff. So I found that I was pretty smart, much too much to the contradiction of what my mom thought.

And so I was like, wow. So I went back to the guy and I said, I got my GED. And he says, good. And he goes, what about college? And I'm like, are you flipping crazy? What does this guy want from me? Like I'm living in an apartment with five guys, a two bedroom apartment. I'm working three jobs, two jobs during the week, one on the weekend.

I'm eating ketchup sandwiches. You want to go to [00:07:00] college? Like you're living in another world, dude. You're in another world. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This guy's got furniture in his house that he doesn't sit on. Maybe I should listen to him. I don't have any furniture. Okay. Okay. So what do I do? Okay.

So he says, we'll go to golden West. Just try to take it. Just try to take one class. All right. Imperfect action. No excuses. Let's go. I went up to the golden West community college here in Huntington Beach, California, and I walked in scared out of my mind thinking they were going to laugh at me.

Like I had long hair at a beard. I was 18. I did not look like a kid. I did not act like a kid. I was a grownup. I was a 35 year old man. By the time I was 18, walked in there and I said in the politest voice, I possibly could not mean looking tough. And I said, I'd like to go to school here.

I said, I have no idea what to do. Can you help me? That's all I did. I figured if I just walk in there and I say, can you, can I come to school here? Can you help me? And if they laugh, then I can go home and I say, see, it's not for me. And I thought that's exactly what was going to happen. That was my belief.

And I went in there and she said, sure, absolutely. And I said, I have a GED. She goes, oh, we accept those. Yeah, no problem. It's not a big deal. She goes, what do you think you're interested in? [00:08:00]I said, I have no idea. She goes, what do you think about business? And I said sure. Why not?

My first class was an interpersonal communication class. John, let me tell you something. When they gave me that class interpersonal communication, I said, what's this? And I speaking, they don't even know. They don't think I could talk. They don't think I could talk. Oh my God. What is this? This is, oh my God, this is ridiculous.

They don't even think I can communicate. That's how stupid I am. But I went back and I said, Hey, I got a college class. He goes, what's your class? And I said, it's this interpersonal communication. He goes, Oh, that's fantastic. They're going to teach you how to listen. They're going to teach you how to paraphrase.

They're going to teach you how to really connect with people when you're talking. This is amazing. This is really going to help you for the rest of your life. So I went from thinking they thought I was stupid. This guy tells me it's going to be an amazing class. God's honest truth was probably the best college class I took.

And I have my master's degree now. So I will literally dedicated 12 years of my life and got my master's degree the same year I bought my first house and I was 30 years old. So I can do all that from 17 to 30. It takes time. It takes a lot of work. It's not easy. It's not [00:09:00] comfortable. You have to push yourself.

But that resiliency is having that picture to answer your question. That resiliency is to have that mindset that no, I'm not going to listen to that, that nagging voice in my brain. I tell my coaching clients, I might give that voice a name. Mine is Stan right now. When Stan tells me he doesn't want to get up at five o'clock and go to the gym. I tell Stan to buzz off. Hey, Stan, thank you very much for your opinion. That's not necessary right now because I'm going to get up at five o'clock and I'm going to go work out and I'm going to get my adrenaline going. Even if I don't feel like it, I know with absolute certainty that if I get up and I go to the gym at five o'clock, I may not have the best workout, but I will walk out of there feeling accomplished, confident, and ready to crush the day.

I don't care what you want, Stan. I don't care that you think another hour of sleep is going to make you feel better, Stan. It's not. It never has. It never does. Guess what makes you feel good is doing what you don't feel like doing and then getting that result. That's what resiliency is.

John: Awesome answer. Thank you. 

what was like, say you're 17 you're 18, you're approaching this community college and you've already hit on this, but what's the story you're telling [00:10:00] yourself about yourself? Can you elaborate on that a bit?

Christopher: Sure.Imposter syndrome. I talk about it all the time. I teach. I've felt like an imposter. I'm like, no way. I used to dig through dumpsters. I used to have to steal stuff. I've done some pretty unethical things in my life. Nothing bad. I never killed anybody or anything like that, just things to survive.

Just what you have to do. I made friends with a guy at Burger King. He saw me digging through their dumpster one day and I was young. I was really young and he's, and he knew my situation. He figured my situation out. And he says, Hey, if you come back here every day at three o'clock, he goes, I can give you some food.

I'm like, okay, I'm, I don't know what he's doing. So basically like when you order a sandwich and you say no ketchup and they put ketchup on it, they put it in a bin underneath the counter. And so what this guy was doing was he was taking all those sandwiches and giving them to me and my mom. And so for me to be walking into school, knowing what I've done, sitting in dumpsters and picking out aluminum cans and all that stuff, that was imposter syndrome.

That was majorly uncomfortable for me. That was like, I don't belong in this world. Like walking onto the campus and seeing all the clean cut people [00:11:00] driving their nice new cars. And they've gone to prom and they've had nice lives and all this other stuff. They got braces 

And here I'm walking in the guy that's sleeping in an apartment with five other guys of two bedroom apartment. Literally we're eating ketchup sandwiches and all sorts of creative things to stay alive. We're working three jobs. We're just doing what we need to do. And here I'm going to, I'm going to go to college.

Who do I, but I just said, because there are other people out there that have a belief in me, perhaps maybe my belief isn't right. And that's why literally on my wristbands, people can't see it, but I sell wristbands that say, believe. Because you have to believe you have to have that initial belief, that initial vision that whatever situation you're in right now is preparing you for what's next.

I teach people how to have a different perspective. So life isn't happening to you. Life is happening for you. And when you have that perspective and you realize that everything that has happened in your life right up until now and everything that's happening now is preparing you for what's next.

Because when you go back and visit your life and you look visit, I just did this with some people recently group exercise. I [00:12:00] said, go back and visit that fork in the road where if you would have made one little decision differently, what, how much different would your life be? Like if you didn't take that job, if you didn't go to school in that state, if you didn't continue dating that person, how much different would your life be?

Oh yeah. It would be totally different. And because Maybe this tragedy happened. Maybe your first of your first marriage ended a divorce. Maybe you needed to learn about betrayal. Maybe you needed to learn about being more invested in your relationship. So your spouse doesn't cheat.

And that's what happened to me. My wife, my first wife cheated on me with my best friend. It was not, I, it was not right. It was not, it was on my bar on my birthday. It wasn't right. But in that process, I had to take responsibility that I was out there conquering the world, but I was not paying attention to my new wife.

Even though it was wrong, I still had that opportunity and that experience to say, okay, next time I'm in a relationship, I'm going to invest more time. I'm not going to just be, it's not going to be about Chris. I need to invest that time in that person. So because that tragedy happened, it allowed me to learn that lesson.

And I've had amazing relationships since I had one five year relationship that we're still [00:13:00] best friends to this day. It just didn't work out. She had kids. I didn't want kids. And now I've been with my wife for 22 years.

John: So

Christopher: to answer your question, I just, it felt like I didn't belong, but as I continued to put myself in those places and continue to accept and love myself and not live in the judgment and beliefs of other people and develop my own beliefs and develop my own confidence in my own aspect of life.

That was the first time I was on my own in my entire life. Like my mom controlled every one of my actions, like you're going to do this and you're going to do this and you can't do this and dah. So now I was out in the world, like I got no safety net. I got nothing. I left her behind. I left her behind at the motel.

I had to, but I still went back and took care of her financially and everything else. That was part of my burden was that's why I was living in a five two bedroom apartment with five guys. Cause I was still helping her financially. I didn't dump her. I didn't leave her. But through that process, I finally started realizing we're all, we all feel like imposters.

And when you start looking around, he's Hey, I'm sure that person's feeling like that. And then you connect with them and you learn and you understand that we're all more of the same than we are different. It takes a lot of that stress off. And then you [00:14:00] can let that stuff go and go, you know what?

You may be a different race, a different ethnicity, a different religious belief, different sexual orientation, but really deep down inside, we're all the same. And I've proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt so many times.

John: Yeah. This may not be the correct way to ask this or maybe even the right question, but, so you've had all these, you referenced kids who went to prom, kids who had cars, kids who grew up in nice homes and they had that upbringing, you had yours, what do you know, or what do you have because of your upbringing that those kids who grew up in those, Normal households don't have.

Christopher: Don't have a ton of experience. It's, that's a multifaceted question. That's a really great question, John. Let me consider that. What do I have that those kids don't, it's hard to say because I know kids that had great lives, but they still had a lot of discipline and a lot of structure in their life.

So they may have had great things, but they also got to earn them. So it's a tough question. I would say. Stereotypically [00:15:00] speaking, like if you're looking at the kids that have everything, I've got consequences. I have experienced consequences of you don't paying rent. I have experienced consequences. If you don't pay the gas bill, I've experienced consequences.

So because of those consequences on my actions, and because I decided to learn from those things, I didn't repeat them. I've become a better person. So I've had that. Like I said, I was 18 years old, but I was really 36. When I think back to the stuff that I was doing and the jobs that I had at such an early age and the things that I established myself in, it was pretty incredible.

Like I became a manager at 22 and the people like at 21, they said, I was, they said, there's no way. And I said, I'll prove it to you in a year. And I gained everybody's respect in the warehouse. And that's how I started making my rise in the corporate space. I was very successful in the corporate space before I even did any of this stuff.

I was a director of operations for a multinational organization. I wore a suit and tie and did all that stuff and was very successful. I left that in November of 2019 because I was what. A lot of my clients are is comfortably miserable. So they're in spots where everything's good, but they're starting to realize they're getting later in life going, man, I didn't show up here to be just good.

I [00:16:00] showed up here to be kick ass. I showed up here to be unstoppable. And furthermore, I'm tired of pretending to be somebody I'm not for everybody else. And that's why I teach people is how to be authentic, how to love yourself first. When you love yourself first and you start taking that imperfect action and you surround yourself with the right people, you get coaches and mentors in your life who tell you the honest truth about what you're doing.

So many people have best friends and they're like, Their best friends won't tell them the truth. Yeah, you're overweight. You need to work out. Let's go to the gym together. No, you're fine. You're just big. But I stopped lying to your friends. Stop lying to yourself. Love yourself better.

Get around the right people. Take that in perfect action. Like I have, it's incredible how fast the situations in your life can really change. I just helped a guy a couple hours ago. He just bought an hour coaching session with me. He saw me on a video. We talked about one of his major issues. And in that process, I sat there and I said, I asked him one question.

I said, when will you have had enough? When will you've had enough? And he goes, what do you mean by that? And I said, you're getting, you're on a point where there's going to be some point where you're going to have had enough. And I want you to get to that point proactively instead of reactively, because what you need is [00:17:00] leverage.

What you need is a why, what you need is a big enough source of inspiration to get you to tell Stan that negative voice to shut up and to continue rocking on with who you're doing and what you're being. That helps.

John: That's great. You've used the term imperfect action a number of times. 

 how does imperfect action play a role in the growth of the people you work with? 

Christopher: question. So many times, John, we operate out of ego, right? As kids, a lot of our, what screws us up in life.

I've proven this from a matter of research, a lot of who we become happens between zero and five. Zero and five, a lot of our beliefs and a lot of our perspectives are shaped based on the fact of what the inputs are coming in. Cause we come in blank sponges, right? What does mommy think of us?

What does daddy think of us? Oh, I need their love and attention. I need that. Oh, I did something wrong. I didn't get their love and attention. So I must be bad. Okay. When I do these things, I must be bad. So I'm not good. So I, so now my belief is that I'm not worthy. 

John: So we want that ego validation, right? So we get that, we seek that from our parents and that kind of sets us down the road. So being able to, understand that it's not about the ego.

Christopher: It's about the soul connection. [00:18:00] It's really about who you're becoming along the journey and being able to let the superfluous stuff go. To be able to let the idea of mattering to other people go and to really live in your greatness. We're all Sent here with great gifts in our soul, right? My gift is to be able to help people change theirperceptions and their excuses and have results.

Everybody has a gift out there. Somebody is crocheting. Somebody is baking. Somebody is cooking with all these natural gifts. And that's what we should be really focusing on to have that rich life. Because in the book that I read, the five regrets of the dying, which was written by a hospice nurse.

Phenomenal book. And the number one regret of the dying is that they lived the life they thought they were supposed to live instead of living the life they wanted to live. And when I read that book, I was crushed. I was literally crushed thinking about my own life and thinking if I was set here, sent here with a spec sheet, right?

Christopher Roush is supposed to become a world famous. International speaker. He's supposed to write an international bell selling how he's supposed to have a movie made out of his life. He's supposed to. And I get to the end of my journey, whatever you believe in, I'm not particularly a religious person, but I'm a spiritual person.

But if I continue with that thought, [00:19:00] if I was sent here to have all this greatness and I get to the end of my road and I look back on my life and go, God, I wish I would have done more of those things. I wish I would have done that sooner. I wish I would have taken that chance. I wish I would have ended that relationship that I knew was not in my best favor, but I stuck it out for the kid.

All those things. You get to the end of your life and you're like, man, there's nothing left. I believe personally, I've coached seven 69 year old, one of my oldest clients was a 70 year old woman. So I, I run the gamut on that. But when you get to the end of your life, I want people to get to the end of their life and go.

Wow, man, I took risks. I took chances. I've I jumped. There's a great video out there for everybody listening to this. It's called jump. It's by Steve Harvey, the talk show host, the comedian. It's about a minute and 33 seconds. And I've watched thousands of hours of videos because I continually learn every single day.

That video pound for pound minute for minute is one of the most impactful videos you can ever watch. It's jumped by Steve Harvey. He's in a parking garage and he's talking about the fact he's talking about comparison earlier. That we're looking at everybody else. I'm like, those people are doing this and those people are doing this.

And the, Oh [00:20:00] my God, I wouldn't be like to have that. And I want this. And I, then we go what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Because we're comparing, they have something that we don't. But they have it because they jumped, they went after their goals. They mortgaged their house.

They went out there and work three jobs. They did those things. They're living life. Everybody on the sidelines is existing in life. And they're playing that someday game, John, they're playing someday, John when the house is paid off, I'll be happy someday when my kids are graduated, then I'll be happy someday.

And it's I always tell my, my, my perspective clients and even my listeners on my podcast, tell me where someday is show me that on a calendar, right? If you continue playing that someday game, you're going to wind up with regrets. So in answer to your question, I think it's really about getting real with yourself, getting truthful with yourself, having a clear plan of how you want to be remembered in this life.

And I have a pretty amazing life. I'm not, I don't have a mansion or anything. I've got a beautiful house in Southern California. I've got my dream car. I've got a beautiful wife, got a beautiful son. I live every day living my legacy. I'm happy. I have my podcast. We're on unscripted. It's a top 10 rated podcast, up 10%.

My [00:21:00] memoir is coming out. Life doesn't have to be all this other stuff that we think we need when you just choose to live in that moment and choose to live in this day. It's pretty amazing.

John: You mentioned you're happy, which is awesome,

Christopher: which is awesome. You're

John: are you happy all the time?

Christopher: Oh no, I will be very honest. I'm always, one thing I'll always be as vulnerable and honest.

And that's something I get a lot of credit for, which I appreciate because I was not always this way. 

John: And the reason I 

asked that 

is because there was a period in my life where I thought eventually you get things figured out and then you're. You're happy and life isn't hard, but that's not the way it works. And I listened to another coach recently who was like, you need to accept that about half, half the life is happy and about the other half is challenging.

And you need to accept that and live that way.

Christopher: that way. Yes. No, that's true. Yeah. No, I'm not always happy actually. I struggle with depression. I struggle with anxiety.

I deal with it. I shouldn't say I struggle with it. I've found ways to cope with that. I've learned about meditation. I've taken breath work classes. I've done some pretty uncomfortable stuff. That's natural, right? I used to drink more. I used to do drugs more to help self [00:22:00] medicate. I smoked cigarettes before I use marijuana before, but slowly, but surely I've just, I quit drinking four years, four months ago, not four years ago, four months ago without an end date, which is huge for me.

Cause I like to drink. I like to party. I could have a good time. But to your point, when you're not always happy, it doesn't have to suck though. 

But what I do when I get in those moments where I am down, first and foremost, I focus on what I'm grateful for. Because what we focus on most is what we get.

Again, if I tell you to look around your room and tell me everything, it's blue, you're going to go blue. And I'm going to say, what's orange. And you're going to say, what I was looking at blue,the same thing happens in life. If you have gratitude for those moments and you appreciate the fact that you're learning and growing as you go, And that the hard things in life have happened for you, then you could choose not to be necessarily be happy about it, but you could choose to have the perspective.

Like I'm going to face this head on. I'm going to stand and rise instead of run and go to my short term gratifications and regret that later. I know that these challenges are not going to go away because they've never gone away before. And I know I grow from them. So have my perspective to be, how can I shine through this?

How can I do my best through this? And how can I [00:23:00] inspire other people through my actions? And lead by example, as opposed to so many people tell people what to do. Let me show you what it is, but no, I'm not happy all the time. I deal with those things. I just have the mechanism now by which that it doesn't take me six weeks to get out of a funk.

It takes me six hours.

John: That's great. I was going to ask you what those mechanisms are, but I think you just answered that. It's like gratitude has a big part to play in that.

Christopher: day. When I wake up my morning routine, I'd studied, I studied successful people for a couple of years. I read, um, Tim Ferriss's tribe of mentors. I read tools of Titans. I read so many different books about successful people.

I read the 5am club by Robin Sharma. And I found out let me, let's really dig into what successful people do. Cause I started hearing this over and over again, like successful people have this like ritual. And I determined it by reading the 5am club by Robin Sharma, that successful people own that first hour of the day.

my morning rituals before my eyes open, I say what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for another day.

I'm grateful for my son sleeping in the room next to me. And I find new things to say I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for the fact that I can hear the wind [00:24:00] outside. I'm grateful for, I hear the rain. I'm grateful. I can hear the birds, whatever it might be. Then the next thing I do, and this stuff, this is all under two minutes.

I say what I'm grateful for. I set my intentions for the day. So my intention today is to be present and playful. My son, my intention today is to use my words and my actions to make this world a better place. And then I find I have a couple of same ones. And then I find a couple of new ones. My intention today is to have a rock in time on John's podcast.

So much so that people find it's the best episode ever. And my intention today is to make a certain person smile. Who's frowning. Like I always make cashier smile and I always try to make everybody just a little bit better for me being there. And I think that's something we can do. And then the last thing I do in the morning is I set my, I say my, I am statements, I am peace.

I am love. I'm not a dad. I'm not this I'm love I'm peace. And when I find that I'm in a stressful situation, I remind myself, no you're peace, Chris. You don't need to take it personal that somebody cut in front of you. They don't even know you wish them a nice day. Hope that they're not on the way to see their daughter in a hospital because they just got into an accident.

Let it go. Go back to your [00:25:00] podcast and just live your life. It's pretty simple. Not easy, but it's simple.

John: All right. So I like to wrap things up by asking people this you've taken a journey from point A to point B from this old story to this new story. Lots of people want to do that. What's one action step a listener could take today? That would help them move from their old story to their 

new story. 

Christopher: John, I'm going to give your listeners one of the, one of the biggest hits that I've had as far as exercise.

I've had some pretty good exercises, but this one's free for everybody. They're called tolerations. So here's the deal. Write down what you're tolerating from yourself. There's three areas. What you're tolerating from yourself, what you're tolerating from others, and what you're tolerating from inanimate objects.

Because so often, John, people are tolerating so much. And I've proven this time and time and time again, you guys just do this one exercise and you stick with this exercise, your life will change. Period. End of story. Hard stop. I'm your coach. You're welcome. Write down what you're tolerating from yourself.

I tolerate the fact that I talk in circles. I tolerate the [00:26:00] fact that I give myself excuses. I tolerate the fact that I'm lazy. I talk, I tolerate the fact that I, whatever it might be, write it everything out. Now, what do I tolerate from others? I tolerate the fact that my husband doesn't do the dishes. I tolerate for my kids that they talk back to me.

I tolerate for my friend that I'm always having to call her and she never calls me. I tolerate the fact that I go above and beyond at work, but I'm never acknowledged for it. Okay. Write those down and then write from an intimate objects. I tolerate the fact that the washer doesn't work, right?

I tolerate the fact that my car doesn't start right away. I tolerate the fact that my windshield wipers are broken. I tolerate the fact that the garage door sticks. I tolerate the fact that the dog pees in the house. I tolerate whatever it might be. Dogs aren't really animate objects, but you get the point.

And I promise you this because I have seen this. I've done this now exercise not thousands of times, but I've done it hundreds of times, at least from the last couple of years with my coaching clients, especially, and then people I've given it to you won't be honest at first. People come to me back. I usually give it to them.

I give them a week and I said take the little paper back. And they come back and they go Chris I, what'd you find? What'd you find? What'd you find? Cause I know in my heart, I know what's real. And I already know the person. I'm like I [00:27:00] got three or four things of me. And then a couple of things from inanimate objects and two or three things from other people.

I'm like you're lying to yourself. You're lying. You're lying. You were lying. You were lying. No, I'm not. I'm like, are you really being serious? Think about it. Are you embarrassed in your mind when you started thinking about it? You didn't want to write it down because then when you write it down it becomes truth.

I'm like, go back for the next week. Stop lying to yourself. What are you tolerating? Be honest with yourself. It's gonna suck. It's gonna hurt. You're gonna feel embarrassed. God, I'm such a dumbass. I keep talking. I let people walk over. I heard it all, John. But when you sit there and you decide, you get that list out, right?

You honest with yourself. You go, Oh my God. And then I asked people like, what would life feel like? What would you feel like? What would you be able to do? How would you be able to focus and concentrate if you didn't tolerate a third of those things anymore? I'm not saying you have, you gotta get rid of all of them, not that obnoxious, but let's get rid of the third one.

Let's get it. Like what one or two that you got rid of would really improve your time management or really improve what your ability to do something for yourself. Whatever it is that I'm working with that person with, what is it you [00:28:00] can do or the low hanging fruit? Is there five or six little ones that you can pick off?

Cause when you pick them off and you stop tolerating, you're telling God's source of universe that you're done. And then your subconscious goes, Hey, you're done. And that little Stan voice in your brain stops talking as much. And you're like, Hey, Stan, has it tried to stop me much anymore?

Because I'm in control now. I'm running the game, not my monkey brain, not the reptilian brain. I'm running the show right now. And I'm running it from my congruent heart of who I am. 

And when you take a look at that tolerations and you stop doing that tells God source universe that you're done with it. And you've reached that point where you're not going to tolerate anything else anymore. Like I said, when will you have had enough? In that point, you have to say I'm done.

And I had some lady tell me recently, she goes, she was saying her biggest excuse. She goes, I don't have time. I'm Chris. I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time. And they said, talk to me about what you do from the time you get up until the time you go to sleep and bathroom included. Tell me everything like everything.

All I get up in the morning, I'm like, okay duh. Should I brush my teeth? I go downstairs and make my coffee. Duh duh. Goes through a whole day. I make the lunches. I do the laundry. I pick up the duh duh, And I'm like, okay, what is who [00:29:00] else? Who else is in your house? Oh, my husband and my three kids.

Mike, how old are your kids? 17, 12 and nine. Okay. So let's see, you mentioned four or five things that you do for them. What would it be like if you had them do the laundry and you had them make the lunches, just those two things, like just have everybody bring their laundry down at the very most, very least have them sort it, have them bring it down.

You can do the processing of it and then you send it back and they fold it and put it away. Oh my God. She was so committed to this, John, there is no way they would ever do that. And I was like, Oh, challenge accepted because I've had people say that to me so many times.

Oh, there's no way. And pretty much I get to the clean of it really quickly and I'm like, okay, so I have to go dark sometimes ladies and gentlemen. And I said, so you get hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow and I said, you're telling me right now in front of God's source universe, you're telling me that your kids will not have clean laundry.

Your husband won't have clean laundry and they won't take lunches ever again to school or work. You know what I'm saying, Chris? And I'm like no, you're saying that there, if you don't do it, that they're not going to do it and you're going to be a bad person, that they're not going to love you.

They're not going to like you. You're doing it to get their validation and acceptance. And quite [00:30:00] honestly, they probably think you enjoy it and they're taking advantage of you without even knowing it. So you need to stand up and speak your piece and say, ladies and gentlemen, guess what? I can't do this anymore.

Mom needs a little love for herself. Mom needs a little time for herself. And I need to teach you guys how to be independent. So guess what? Here's the plan and lay the plan out. I said, figure it out. What can your nine year old do? What can your 17 year old, whatever it was, I can't remember exactly. And then have a family meeting.

I said, I want you to start having family meetings once a week and talking about the responsibilities and how you and your husband can get together and help your kids grow more and have them get more responsibilities so that you can maybe free up an hour a day. Like I told her in the preface of the conversation, I said, would you have this excuse anymore?

If you had an hour entirely to your day and an entire, an hour entirely to you to work on your business that you want to start or work on whatever it is. Oh my God. An hour. It'd be great. Crisp. But you like have that conversation. Come back to me next week. How's the conversation. Yeah. Chris, I'm embarrassed.

I'm like, why? She goes, I talked to my family and they were totally loving and supportive and they've been telling me to take it easy, but I just not, [00:31:00] I chose not to listen. I chose to say, Oh, I'm needed and I'm wanted. So I need to do these things. She goes, my all my kids agreed to it.

They gave me some gruff, but now they're going to do it and we're actually excited about it. And so now we're implementing an award system and there might be a little extra benefit for them to make more allowance. I'm like, yeah, get creative with it. It's so funny that people sit there and think they can't do something.

And if you think you can't, then you won't period.

John: I'm sure people are going to want to reach out and connect with you, learn more about you. Where would someone go to find out more about Christopher?

Christopher: John, thank you so much for having me. And I got to tell you, I've been interviewed thousands of times. You Your questions are awesome. Literally. I'm not blowing smoke up your skirt or anything like that.

I'm a very honest person. I love the questions that you asked. They're very deep and insightful. And I'm glad for that because that means you care about your listeners 

They're going to get ahold of me. It's super simple. It's no excuses, coach. com. If they just go to no excuses, coach. com, they'll stumble upon my website. Or if they want to find more various things about me, 

they'll find my YouTube and stuff like that. I've got tons of video. I've got almost a thousand videos on my YouTube.

They're my podcast is Ron and scripted. My other podcast is [00:32:00] the unfiltered experience. I've got short videos in there. I got stuff in there for days. I got stuff with me, suit and tie speaking, got stuff with me, less Brown. I got amazing stuff there, but it's all at no excuses, coach. com. John, thank you so much, man.

John: Thank you for being here. Appreciate it.